Qualities of Heart Hunger

When our choices around food are emotionally charged, we’re led by Heart Hunger. Our primary concern is not filling an empty stomach, but filling an emotional or psychological void. In the short term, we experience security and comfort, a brief moment of happiness and relief. 

This type of hunger feeds emotions. You’re essentially eating your feelings, rather than eating out of physical hunger. These feelings can certainly be both positive or negative, ranging from happiness, love, celebration and sheer enjoyment to stress, sadness, or grief. 

Food as Cultural Connection
As a weight loss doctor, I get the emotional connection to food. It plays a huge role in our lives. I wouldn’t get very far by counselling people to stop being emotional about food. For one, I don’t think it’s possible. And two, I don’t live like that either. Food should be emotional. It should bring you joy, transport you back to your childhood, and help you relive special moments. 

Some of my fondest memories involve my grandmother and mother’s cooking, with all of us gathered around the table every Friday night, as well as holidays, birthdays and other celebrations. Chicken soup with matzah balls. My mom’s spaghetti and meat sauce. Licking the mashed potatoes off the beater. My grandmother’s brisket, meatballs and cheesecake. I remember it all, and it brings me great comfort, as I know it does for many of you too. 

As you can see, emotional eating isn’t inherently bad. In fact, I would argue that connecting food with personal, social or cultural memories makes you human. You deserve to enjoy the fact that food represents more than fuel. But it’s important to balance your emotional appetite with your physical needs. 

Enjoying the Experience
We can have emotional ties and connections to food, but they can’t override our physical needs. When you do indulge in comfort foods, acknowledge to yourself that you’re filling an emotional void rather than a physical one. 

Imagine that you just baked a tray of cookies with your son. Of course you’re going to eat cookies with him and enjoy every bit of that warm gooey deliciousness. That is special bonding time. His big eyes are watching your every move. His little ears are listening to how you speak about food. 

This is when you get to employ that 80/20 rule you’ve probably heard of before: If you eat healthfully 80% of the time, it’s no problem to indulge in those special treats the other 20%. So savour one warm, gooey cookie with your son. Enjoy every bite. Lick the chocolate off your fingers. Don’t feel an ounce of guilt about it. You get to enjoy the whole experience – not the whole tray.