Another Approach to Body Positivity

In the last decade, giving up your lifetime pass to the diet roller coaster has meant learning to love and accept your body, no matter what size or how overweight it is. Whether you are plus size, curvy or voluptuous, you deserve to see yourself as sexy, attractive and worthy of love. 

I am all for body positivity and self-acceptance at any size. We all have a story and your size is only a small part of it. But, more than 50% of the adults in North America are overweight, and being overweight puts you at risk for developing type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and certain types of cancer. Even a modest 5% weight loss can result in health benefits that decrease those risk factors. So, as much as I am supportive, I see firsthand how unhealthy adults and children become when they are overweight. Chronic health conditions rooted in diet and lifestyle are more pervasive than ever. 

Most anti-diet philosophy is rooted in the concept of intuitive eating. Free yourself from the dieting headspace. Meet your emotions with kindness. Eat and exercise for pleasure, not weight loss. Honor your hunger, shut out the noise and find inner peace. Certainly, I am in favor of all these principles, but what concerns me is the notion that self-compassion and self-respect are at odds with losing weight. The body positivity movement says it’s ok to remain overweight and suffer the long-term health implications that go with it. 

Giving up the pressure to look like a size 0 model doesn’t mean you should embrace being overweight or obese. They are not mutually exclusive. You can love your body and still want to do right by it. I meet the black and white, all or nothing people every day. The ones who oscillate between dieting extremes like calorie restriction, fasting as glorified starvation, or punitive exercise. I also question these extremes. Given a choice between this kind of disordered eating and loving your overweight body, it’s not surprising that people are drawn to the anti-diet movement. People will judge you for not eating enough and people will judge you for eating too much, so why not love yourself the way you are?

Unfortunately, the answer isn’t as black and white. You need to live in the grey, in the balance. Believe in the importance of nourishing your body through food and movement, managing stress, balancing hormones, AND practicing self-care, kindness and compassion. There are multiple paths toward improving your health, and one isn’t simply better than the other. What’s best is finding the one that works for you that you can sustain. 

My approach to lasting weight loss is different. You’ll find I’m no-nonsense about the science; you deserve the truth no matter how hard it is to hear. Some pills are hard to swallow, but they’re necessary for growth. The same goes for the emotional aspect of weight loss. We’re all emotional beings. That’s what makes us beautifully human, not robots. I’d never ask you to put aside this essential piece. But what I do ask, is that you examine these emotional and social reasons you’re overweight with the same energy you give to counting calories. 

So, I will meet you where you’re at without judgment, but I won’t ever tell you it’s okay to adjust your attitude instead of your lifestyle. It’s a difficult conversation, but one I’m willing to have in order to reverse this trend toward obesity. That has been my sole approach for the past 15 years with patients, and I think I’ve been successful at doing it.

I want to share my experiences with you, because I have seen what happens when my patients finally take a hard look at why they’re engaging in behaviors that sabotage their weight loss goals. The lightbulb finally turns on. They no longer need external restrictions to keep them on track. They find fueling their body with nutritious food appealing, and eating in response to healthy hunger cues actually attainable. The healthy lifestyle becomes the easier, more comfortable path, and they’re able to move from dieting to living. But don’t think it was comfortable at the beginning. To break free from the habits, patterns and conditioning that kept you stuck for so long, is a very uncomfortable process. It takes hard work, patience and perseverance. It what separates you from the rest.